Urban Poetry Poets: Charell

Well my name is Charell I'm 21years old from the north of england. I've always been interested in all creative things, like music, art, drama and now poetry. The reason I started writing poetry a month and a half ago because it helps me express myself when feeling upset because I have a lot of stress in my life but want to get rid of all the negative energy.

Poems:

LOST HOPE

We're always waiting for the new year like its going to take all the fear and tears away from last year.

I try to have hope and believe in my pope but when nothings changing every year I can't help but feeling like shedding a tear because deep down I feel like a new year isn't going to take away all my fear.

I know its no good not believing in your self because it helps care for your health, but what am I supposed to do when I don't have a clue, because every year it feels like am still stuck in the same position with no job and I don't go out and rob or commit any crime with my time to make a little dime, instead I sit in and try to rhyme.

I just want some day to be my time to shine instead of everyone else always shinning around me buying nice things and diamond blingy rings, because I know I can't afford nice things and all I can do is hope and pray that one day.

REALISE

I am just me, if you don't like what you see bye, bye and watch me fly like a bird in the great blue sky.

People often ask me why I quit drinking alcohol because it brought to many negative thinking thoughts to my head. I was following the crowd getting hyper mingling and doing things I wasn't proud of till I was nearly dead.

But they say that something bad will have to happen to make you wish you hadn't have.

It took me to realise that the friends you thought you could party with must of thought I was a idiot to be with and put the un legalised drugs in my drink so I couldn't think straight.

I just feel like it was fate that it wasn't to late for me to realise.

SCARED OF LOVE

Why do I care about what my family and friends think about the things I do, maybe its because I don't think they'll have a clue about what I'm going through.

I flirt and chat with guys when I am out and about drinking, I end up doing things with out thinking that I am not proud of. But its because I'm always praying above that I'll find that perfect love but I'm always getting a shove led on by hopeless quotes to get me into bed promising love.

Then I'll meet a guy who will want to stick by me, treat me and not want to sleep with me.

Then I get scared because what if I fall in love and the relationship goes all wrong I would feel like I need a wand to re wind, because I couldn't bare to let the words come of my tongue to yell and tell family and friends it all went wrong I'd always be praying I hope it will mend.

NOCK ME DOWN
People want to knock me down see me blow out and thrown but I am not going to do that because i am not a clown.

Obviously am going to get upset and try not to fret but that's just life some times it feels like I've been jucked with a knife, sometimes a sit and wonder when I am going through the thunder would my life be alright if I let someone come into my life and let them make me there wife.

But at times a shouldn't think like that because if you look for love most of the time you will get a shove and your heart broke were you could feel like you want to choke on your tears because your trying to keep them in then it all just feels like one big sin for letting him in.

But I know there's going to be a better day some day were I can make the good money and feel good that am on my way to success and I have done with all the mess.

TRYING

Its like I am a baby am always thinking maybe this, maybe that.

I will never be successful if I let that negative maybe lead the way, I will be always putting the things I want off and then I'll never be on my way to success.

I don't want to always put up with stress always in a mess needing money and that isn't funny.

I'm just going to try and not cry I have to keep keen and go for my dream educate and create a better person for my self that way I will not have to worry about my wealth.

JUDGING
Judging why we all judging, we judge everyone's race by there face the way they dress.

This world is one big f**kin mess we care more about what we hear rather than what we see.

the newspapers and magazines automatically makes us in to haters and fakers.

we try to be slim and perfect like the photo shopped celebs what a bunch of plebz.

we laugh at races by peoples individuality but at the end of the day we are all human so we should unite as one!

CHILDHOOD

Imagine growing up your mums packing all yours and your siblings stuff because we are leaving, I even left ma chocolate easter bunny and back then I used to find everything funny I was only 5years old and loved honey I didn't even have to even think about money.

Then my mum moved in with a guy that seemed so sweet but then he used to beat her and knock her off her feet and damn dat used to get me mad I wished I was older enough to sort him out.

But finally after years of bullsh*t my mum finally stopped playing dumb and stood up to the man that made her numb then we moved away for a better way in life and now I can finally lay and pray.

We had to move about and go to loads of different schools but sometimes people looked at us like we were fools but I had to keep ma head up be quiet about our family business to the kids at school.

Not a day goes by that I wish my mum didn't have to go through that pain but we cant change things we have to go through more and more things sometimes but even though it gets harder and harder I've learnt something pain makes you even stronger.

But I know the good is going to come to me so I can shine, because when you go through the bad all the time you got the good to come, if you sail through life and it don't hurt like a knife one day you will have to face the bad so you gotta watch what you do or say so you don't get burnt.